10. Go to a local costume/makeup store and purchase the broken nose / gouged eye mask and wear after coming home with your car. Have her drop you off the at Emergency room and claim you’ll come on the bus. Tip: Remove mask before getting home. When she sees the bill weeks later, tell her its from the Emergency Room bill.
9. Recreate your bill on a Tiffany’s stationary and “accidentally” place it somewhere near where you keep your reading material next to the head. Then go out and buy her a 1ct. diamond ring from “Imposters” for a $150.00.
8. Say you purchased 5500 shares of Nvidia Corporation at the beginning of 2010.
7. You cashed a paycheck, and was held up by a group of teen thugs.
6. You bought a used car for your teenager, but it was so mechanically bad, the jalopy swerved out and fell into a levy. You were able to jump out just in time.
5. You are at popular Fleur de Lys in Mandalay Bay and you have been drinking beer. Unfortunately you get so drunk that you happily yell… “drinks on the house”. Everyone in the bar orders Liquid Gold* a cocktail.
*Liquid Gold is sold by the ounce for $175. Made with Grand Marnier Centenaire, Louis XIII Cognac, Krug Grand Cru Champagne, Fee Brothers West Indian Orange Bitters and raw sugar garnished with 23-karat gold leafing and a burnt orange twist.
4. You gave a donation to a favorite charity, turns out they were a front for laundering cash,
3. While at Mandalay Bay, you admit that you are a problem gambler and that you have already checked-in to G.A.
2. Tell her the money had been gone a longer than that. You ran into a short guy in an expensive executive suit and a wearing a baseball cap, named “Bernie M.”
1. A Mexican cartel loan shark wanted to collect an original loan plus interest. Unfortunately for you, the interest was 1000% the original loan that he failed to tell you.